Second of all, my expectations of you…well…just keep being you.
I really liked the part where you said one of your acts would be to make your wife perfectly healthy. That was very touching.

Regarding subjective reality…have you heard of non-duality? I’m pretty new to it myself, but from what I gather (could be wrong though), it’s about awakening to the world as it is. Without the need to explain it according to subjective reality, objective reality, etc. (I think…)

Have a look at it, I think you’ll enjoy it. As much as I enjoyed this post.

=)
Albert

Just keep being myself, eh? I suppose, thanks to you, I can finally start doing that consciously. For so much of my life, I have asked who I am… Now, I can finally answer: I am happy. I’m not at peace yet, but that gives me hope, because I can only improve from here.

Non-duality… Life is neither subjective nor objective, it simply is. If I can change my outlook, and other people’s outlooks follow, than that is a matter of course. If I lift an object and let it go, then its falling is also a matter of course. The objective is subjective, and the subjective is objective.

Please don’t mind me… I’m just publicly exploring an idea… rolling it around my mind to see how it feels…

I can see non-duality as being both a defeatist attitude and an empowering one, depending on what angle a person looks at it from. The universe certainly exerts pressure on the individual, but is the universe not also made up of individuals, and that’s why/how it creates pressure? Understanding the dynamics of the universe, without separating it into distinct parcels, or saying that one thing is within while another is outside, could go a long ways towards …

cut that thought…

(Don’t you just love train of thought writing?)

What about… The subjective is not simply within, and is not fully under one consciousness’ control. But neither is the objective fully outside, and it is influenced by consciousness.

I think that I have explored as much of the surface of this idea as I can from a quick glance at it. I’m planting it firmly into my semi-consciousness, where it will be explored more fully as I do other things. It looks good so far, though.

And, one more thing… What about the other half of the question? What about yourself, Albert?

Let me put it this way… I expect you to realize that you didn’t talk about yourself, and feel emboldened to share your views. After all, realizing our similarities strengthens us all, and exploring our differences broadens our compassion.

Jeff, Slade, Patricia, Vitor, Jonathan, Vera, KL, Damian, Terry… This is the perfect opportunity to weigh in. JJMelo and Geo H, this is a perfect time to introduce yourselves as well. I estimate that I have 35 people who subscribe to the feed… yet I know the names of ten of you.

I believe it was Spider Robinson who said “Shared pain is lessened. Shared joy is increased.” Shall we experiment?

I Like this article, especially when you start talking about expectations. Lately in my relationship I have been observing how my expectations or desires as to how I think or want my partner to behave totally control the experience I have.

But, when I drop all expectations, and all desires and just be with them in the moment as they are, responding from my truth, this beautiful gap opens up.

Life changes.

After all, an expectation is a control mechanism - i.e. You’re a supporting actor in my drama and you’re meant to act like this is order to create the experience I want to have.

Letting go of this is surrendering to magic. It’s giving the other person freedom to be who they are, and more importantly, giving you freedom to be who you are.

Of course, this means you also have to let go of your expectations of the relationship and just let it be what it is too…

This is where it gets tough, because we like to put our relationship in boxes - you’re my mother which means our relationship is meant to be like this, or you’re my husband so it means our relationship is meant to be like that. in doing this, we miss the opportunity to enjoy what the relationship IS like… because we’re so focused on it fitting our ideal…

When these expectations are dropped, of how the other person should be, and how the relationship should be… all that’s left is what is, with no judgment of whether it’s good or bad, just experience of what it is.

In this gap, joy and love explode effortlessly.

Or they don’t.

Your blog is about peace: a lofty, high concept. I expect you to take that concept, and bring it down to earth, make it real.

I love it when you’re honest. There are too many bloggers out there who hide behind their self-created image, their brand. Here, on the contrary, there are always interesting, truly human conversations to be had.

As for the second part… people expect me to be responsible, to carry the weight for them, to be there, to be perfect. Now that I think about it, I am mostly responsible for these expectations. I induce them through my attitude, through my actions. Quite interesting topic.

K-L,

It’s always a treat to stumble over one of your comments now that you’ve gone into “ghost mode”. Can’t help but wonder about that last line, though.

I think that most of your readers have come to expect an uncommon degree of openness and honesty. Why? Because it comes through loud and clear with every post you write and every comment you make.

You mentioned that for most of your life you wondered who you are, my impression is that you know yourself quite well. Having unanswered questions does not distract from that fact, it only adds to it.

It seems that paradigms are by nature both subjective and objective. We all interpret everything from our own unique place in time and space. Growth comes when we try to understand and even appreciate the unique perceptions of others, especially when they differ from our own.

This post is over the top on so many levels.

Thanks for your subjective objectiveness.

PS I agree that Urban Monk is wonderful.

Adam, I think you are doing a great job of honestly looking at yourself and what you expect from yourself. As long as we live in a world of duality, I am not sure that we can live without expectations of some kind. I know, for me, I can let go of expectations for a short period of time and then I find that they have slipped back into my mind. I know because of my own expectations of me being honest, I expect the same from others.

Adam, the fact that you admitted to being dishonest, for me, doesn’t change who you are. You are the same person that I knew before your admission. I have expectations of who I want to be. Those expectations keep me growing and learning and looking at who I currently am.

Expectations can also keep us stuck if we are not willing to change. The attitude of well, if they expect me to lie, cheat, steal, I am going to can keep us stuck in behaviors that we don’t like and sometimes aren’t proud of. We can choose to let go of those expectations that are limiting us or holding us back from who we really want to be.