Adam’s Peace

Here are some simple steps to grow how much joy you have. When you have joy, you don’t pursue pleasure quite as single-mindedly, which leaves you open to make some truly amazing changing in your life and the world around you. You don’t need to take these steps in order, but the first one builds on all of the rest.

Take Responsibility

It is possible to find some measure of joy when we don’t take responsibility, but that joy is magnified incredibly when we are being responsible. This is, perhaps, the corner stone of living a joyful life. The key here is to be able to identify what you are responsible for. The general rules is, if you can affect something, then you are responsible for it. If you see trash on the ground, then it doesn’t matter who put it there, you are responsible for it the moment that you realize it is there and are able to move it. Similarly, if you see something good in this world, you are responsible for keeping it that way. Most importantly of all, you are responsible for your own thoughts. If you are already at peace and are experiencing joy, then increase that joy by recognizing that you are the one who brought peace into your life. If your thoughts are troubled, then take joy in knowing that you can change your thoughts and bring even more peace into your life.

You are not, however, responsible for the thoughts and actions of other people. Just release that burden, and you’ll have more room for joy and peace. You can influence people’s thoughts, and guide their actions, but you can not make any of those changes happen. Just as you are responsible for your thoughts, they are responsible for theirs. Everybody shares the full responsibility of their environment.

Donate Something

There really is an odd feeling that you get when you donate to a worthy cause. Whether you are donating money, items, or time, you are giving of yourself without expecting money in return. At most, you’ll get some recognition and a tax return, but quite often, you won’t even get that. The real benefit is the feeling of joy that it brings you.

You don’t have to donate to charities, although that remains the most certain way for your money/items/time to be spent on things that concern you. You could ‘donate’ to your favorite business by buying from them. You can donate to individuals who you think have quite a bit of potential, but no time to realize that potential. Whatever you choose, go out and make some sort of a difference. You can even donate to me, if you felt that I was contributing to something you care about. No? I thought I’d at least give it a try.

Volunteer Somewhere

This ties in very closely to donating, except that volunteering usually takes on the form of an extended time commitment. Hospitals absolutely love volunteers. I volunteered at a hospital from when I was 13 years old until I could hold a paying job at 16. Besides obviously instilling a work ethic, freely giving about ten hours of my time each week for three summers for the benefit of others greatly helped to put my own problems into perspective and gave me a great outlook on the value of serving others. Looking back at that time still fills me with joy, knowing that I brought smiles to the faces of the terminally ill, and that I was able to comfort the sick. The last year that I volunteered especially filled me with joy, because I was in the background tinkering with computer equipment, ensuring that the information backbone of the hospital ran smoothly, which helped far more people indirectly than I could help directly.

Random Acts of Senseless Kindness

This can be as simple as smiling at a person while they’re passing you on the street, or as elaborate as you can imagine. Hold the door for someone. Offer to help someone load their groceries onto the conveyor leading to the register. Let someone cut in line at the grocery store. Whenever you see an opportunity to help someone, don’t be afraid to jump in and offer your help. You might be rejected, but you’ll feel good knowing that you offered. If they accept your help, both of you will feel an increase in joy and gratitude.

Enjoy Pleasures in Moderation

Let’s face it, all work and no play makes you a dull boy, right? Identify those things that give you the most physical or immediate happiness, make certain that it isn’t harmful, either in the long or short term, and go do it. Here’s a quick checklist to see if the pleasure will give you joy or not:

1. Make certain that all of your other responsibilities have been dealt with. (Playing when there is work to be done only decreases you joy when you have to do that work anyways.)
2. Make certain that what you are doing is healthy. (Yes, chocolate cake is pleasurable. No, it doesn’t increase your joy, it only increases your pant size.)
3. Make certain that it doesn’t harm others. (Driving a tank is pleasurable… Driving a tank on top of other people’s cars does not increase anyone’s joy. All of the gas wasted from driving that tank reduces the amount of pleasure that you can have in the future, because it will run out eventually.)

The general rule is that if you feel guilty, then fixing the guilt and enjoying your pleasurable experiences will vastly increase your joy.

Clean

This is my largest weakness. Guys, the women really do have something here. Yeah, the act of cleaning sucks, but when you look back at what you have cleaned, the joy that fills you outweighs the loss of pleasure that you might have had doing something else. If you ever want to feel joy quickly, go clean something.

Replace Your Habits

Our habits can build us up or tear us down. The most effective way to get rid of a habit is to replace it with a better one. There are books and books about habits, and I’m thinking of writing an article about them soon, so I won’t go into too much detail here, but I’ll just say that when you have helpful habits, it is easy to feel joy any time you want to.

Exercise

That’s right, exert yourself. This is one of the slower methods of building joy, but it is a lasting joy. What did you think about yourself the last time you really looked in the mirror? I’ll tell you what I thought: I thought that I used to be strong, and now I’m just average. That was definitely a joy killer. It has been a while since I’ve taken stock of myself in the mirror, but since that time, my wife has complimented me on a smaller gut and larger arms, and I felt real joy from that, because I knew that I took care of myself. You don’t need a gym membership to improve your strength… a few push-ups and sit-ups every other day (and plenty of water, not soda) will make a difference in a few weeks. I’ll post my exercise routines later, though I recommend seeing a doctor before starting any diet or exercise program, just to make sure that you don’t end up with a permanent injury like I have. (My hip went out, so unfortunately, running is no longer on my list of exercises.)

Share!

Yes, really share. Everywhere is Callahan’s Place… except that I don’t see a fireplace, a chalk line, or any glasses to throw. Well, without the alcohol, everywhere is Callahan’s Place. There is a fundamental rule in the human psyche; shared pain is diminished, shared joy is increased. This blog is a perfect place to share, in case anyone was eyeing my comment box at the bottom of this post. Share examples of how you increased your joy, and we’ll all experience even more joy. Share experiences that lead to pain, and we’ll all carry part of the burden for you until that burden becomes so light that the joy shines through. The comment box is sitting there waiting for you to reach out and help each other.

If you don’t feel like using this comment box, go find a friend who will share your joy and pain, and share theirs as well. When you’re done, you’ll both have more joy and less pain.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 31st, 2007 at 3:40 pm and is filed under Recovered Archive, Inner Peace, Joy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.